Still...

This last month has been a bit of a blur. After the initial flurry of telling family and friends about my dad, and the fairly pathetic dinner that really wasn't much of a memorial, I have pretty much tried to not think about things. I took week off from work to do ... whatever it was I was supposed to do. I slept a lot! My husband had been dealing with bills and probate and stuff. I just can't. Some days I'm completely fine. Other days I can't stop thinking of my dad, how it's just not true, how I shouldn't be just going on with my life.. It hurts so much! Everyone says out will get better, that I'll still feel what I've been feeling but it will be less frequent and less intense as time goes on. I'm sure they're right. But what I want is for my dad to be here and to be well!! I sure wish I could get what I want more often!